Annoying things to say to an Indie author. . .

I try to be pretty tolerant of things. 90% of "never say this to an expecting parent/book lover/dog lover/real estate agent/ballerina/bikini model/astrophysicist" lists, I roll my eyes at and think, "Get over it."
I give people the benefit of the doubt that they ask personal questions because they are interested and say things like, "You have your hands full" to busy parents because it's just what people say, not because they are trying to be annoying.
There are, of course, things people say that are just downright rude, but you can't control that sort of thing. You can only control how you respond to them.

Still, I admit, sometimes people say things that make me go, "Seriously?"

  • You have a lot of good reviews. You must have a lot of friends. Not only does this assume the writer is cheating and their success is fake, you're also taking a pot shot at the people who read and enjoyed the books. 
  • You'd probably make more money if you switched genres/wrote a vampire book/wrote a zombie book/had more sex in your book. You wouldn't go up to a rock musician and tell them to perform country, would you? And some artists do switch from one sort of art to another (country to rock, pop to classical ... fantasy to romance), but most artists write what they want to read, the stories they've been inspired to write. 
  • Your character is a jerk/extrovert/cat/alien so you must be too. Believe it or not, not every character in a book, not even every main character, is the author and not all the happenings in our books are thinly disguised memoirs. If they were, then no one would ever be able to tell more than one story. And yeah, maybe some autobiographical elements creep into our work, but questioning the author about, "Hey, is this you ... " can be uncomfortable.
  • Is this character based on me? Really, there's no good way to answer this question. If I wanted you to know a character was based on you, I probably would go ahead and tell you. Besides, I may need to torture/kill/marry off that character at a later date, and then that could get awkward. 
  • Can you read my manuscript? Review my book? Don't get me wrong: a lot of authors are willing to help other authors this way. However, if we said yes to even half the requests we get for this sort of thing, we'd never have time to breathe, let alone work on our own stuff. Writers generally know other writers. After a little under two years being self-published, I have a kindle full of books I mean to read and review for other writers ... I am beta reading for two or three other writers ... and I am working on three of my own projects simultaneously. If you need help from other writers, consider joining a local critique group or a site like where you can network with other writers and help them in return for them helping you. 
Also, remember there are two days left to enter my giveaway for a paperback copy of An Ordinary Knight (click here) and six more to enter my Goodreads Giveaway for the same book.


    Goodreads Book Giveaway


        An Ordinary Knight by H.L. Burke



          An Ordinary Knight

          by H.L. Burke


            Giveaway ends November 11, 2015.
            See the giveaway details
            at Goodreads.

    Enter Giveaway

Also, if you're doing NaNoWriMo this year, what are you word counts?