The H. L. Burke Random Interview is not like other interviews. The questions are all over the place. They have no purpose. Their purpose is their lack of purpose.
Today Stephanie Adams has traveled from afar, bearing answer gifts to lay at our questioning feet.
During an Alien Invasion what would be your weapon of choice?
A donut. The invading aliens are gluten free and will die if you throw it at them... Wait, a Krispy Kreme shop so I can manufacture donuts by the buckets and just dump it on them. (Chomp…Chomp…)
If you could enter any fictional world, which would you choose?
This is a silly question. If you don't say Harry Potter World, you lose. End of story.
Favorite flavor (of what? EVERYTHING!)?
Snurpbubble. Why? Because it sounds delicious.
Who is your fictional best friend and what activities do you choose to do together?
My fictionary best friend would have to be that annoying little guppy fish that sings the “line up” song over and over on that annoying kids show Bubble something my kids adore. We would do some activities together…And then he would never be heard from again. (Curse you line up song!!!) line up everybody line up line up.
Rename yourself. Your new name can be silly, pretty, meaningful, whatever you want, but it CAN’T be your real name or penname, no matter how awesome that might be. Sorry, Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop is taken.
The mommies in the audience will understand my answer. I am changing my name to Daddy. So whenever you want anything, start yelling Daddy over and over instead of mommy!
Write me some Vogon Poetry (for those not in the know, Vogon poetry is so awful you’ll want to rip your ears off and eat them. It’s considered a method of torture in many corners of the galaxy. So give us your worst).
This is verse 42: Blue putrid toe jammy mommajomma,
Roses are your beautiful eyeballs shining.
Forget the clouds hanging windows from the ceiling.
Everyone shines like aphids in the night.
You have superpowers. What are they and what do you do with them?
Okay, I would be able to morph into animals. Like off of that really nerdy book when I was a kid. Animorphs. I certainly didn’t own every single of her over 200 novel collection (Which let’s face it is pretty impressive even though I got made fun of for wanting to read it all the time) and I certainly wasn’t the kid petting the horse I owned trying to morph into a horse by concentrating really hard when no one was noticing. *wink wink*
You find a talking animal. What sort of animal is it and what’s the first thing you do?
It’s my cat, Mr. Jiggles. I ask him why he likes to put his bum in my face when I am writing my novel and why he eats Chex mix with almond milk but consistently turns his nose up at steak and hamburger.
If this question were any question in the world, what question would you want it to be and how would you answer it?
This is a question. So it’s a bit hard for me to imagine that this is another question because you put a question right here. But I guess the question would have to be: Why didn’t you write a sequel to your book? (I get that all the time even though it is a stand alone novel)
I would have to answer: I started to write a sequel in which I kept killing all the characters. I didn’t want my adoring fans to hate me, so I stopped writing. They are still alive, don’t worry!