Random Interview Saturday! Sterling R. Walker

The H. L. Burke Random Interview is not like other interviews. The questions are all over the place. They have no purpose. Their purpose is their lack of purpose.
There are nine questions because cats, but these nine questions are subject to change without notice, so the questions one person answers may not be the questions answered by the next author.

Today's guest is Sterling R. Walker who has walked into more than she realizes (har har har).

The Interview

What’s the most important lesson you ever learned from a cartoon?
 If you fall off a cliff, you will probably die.
Your life is being made into a movie. Who plays you? Who plays your love interest? (or who plays your arch-enemy?)
Melissa McCarthy, although I'm not quite that fat. My love interest would be John Cleese, although not quite so old.
Heads or Tails?
Would you rather travel to the past or the future?
I write SF so the future.
If you favorite historical era had an ice cream flavor made in its honor, what would it taste like?
The American Revolution would probably taste like venison, since that's all Washington's soldiers could find at times. Yuck. Venison ice cream.
During an alien invasion, what would be your weapon of choice?
Weapon of choice for all occasions is a 12-gauge shotgun because you don't have to aim well to do a lot of damage.
If you could combine any two animals to make a hybrid, what would they be?
A friendly dog that doesn't make any noise, so like a Shetland sheepdog with a rabbit.
Is mayonnaise an instrument?
 Instrument if you use it to induce vomiting. I had a friend in high school who had a real revulsion to mayo. Just show her a jar and she would hurl. 

If this question were any question in the world, what question would you want it to be and how would you answer it?
What are my books about? Glad you asked! Here's the back cover blurb for book one, which was crafted with much blood, sweat, and tears (just the blurb, not the actual book).
Stranded 225 million kilometers from home on Mars Station, cousins Jake O’Brien and Lorina Murphy are drawn into a fledgling effort to help the hundreds of abandoned street children who call the station home. Jake becomes a medical apprentice in an outreach clinic, while Lorina volunteers at a juvenile shelter. They soon discover that their efforts may be in vain because something much more serious than poverty plagues Mars Station. 

Also stranded on Mars Station, ship’s captain Danae Shepherd faces the difficult task of hiring replacement crew after an alien virus claims the lives of four in her employ, including her husband. She stumbles upon the same problem that has Jake and Lorina stumped: why are homeless children disappearing without a trace?