Random Interview Saturday! EJ McCay

The H. L. Burke Random Interview is not like other interviews. The questions are all over the place. They have no purpose. Their purpose is their lack of purpose.
There are nine questions because cats, but these nine questions are subject to change without notice, so the questions one person answers may not be the questions answered by the next author.

The red carpet unfurls, the limo pulls up, and out springs EJ McCay to the flash of multitudinous cameras!

Author Bio

I'm a wife and mother living in Seminole, Texas. I also live with three cats. I'm currently addicted to Chuck. I'm a music fanatic and listen to everything from Perry Como to Demon Hunter. I get claustrophobic when there are too many people so as much as I love music, I avoid concerts. I love to travel. Like, just taking a drive and having no time limits or direction is fun to me. So, that's a little bit about me. Another lesser known fact, I stink at biographies.

The Interview
Write me some Vogon Poetry (for those not in the know, Vogon poetry is so awful you’ll want to rip your ears off and eat them. It’s considered a method of torture in many corners of the galaxy. So give us your worst).
Shatzenburg flarg upon the eye
Huge boogers did I see fling
Beyond the woods the tree did fall
Glazteenheim made a sound and it was bad. 
You're the next Disney princess. What fairy tale is your full length movie and how would you use your new ability to control woodland creatures?
Cinderella. Seriously, the best part is all those woodland creatures doing the dishes and laundry. I hate both of those chores. 
If you had to be physically one age for the rest of your life, where would you stop the clock?

Twenty-six. Young enough you can still do things, but old enough to be past the "you're still a kid" age. 
You can time travel in an oddly specific way that only allows you to visit other authors. Where do you go and what do you do?
I think I'd like to visit Mark Twain. I think he was an interesting person. I'd love to just take a boat ride with him. 
If I were to invite you over, what snacks would you bring, keeping in mind that fruit and dried fruit are not snacks?
I'd do some homemade caramel popcorn with peanuts in it. 
Tree House or Cave? And why?
That's hard. Both have advantages, but I'm going with Tree House because it'd be cool to say my house is in a tree. 
What weather is your writing? A dark and stormy night? A sunshiny day? 
It's balmy with a chance of sarcasm. 
If this question were any question in the world, what question would you want it to be and how would you answer it?
This one left me flummoxed. I think I'll go for simple. If you could go anywhere, where would you go? Fuji. I'd love to just go hang out in a hammock by the beach.