The H. L. Burke Random Interview is not like other interviews. The questions are all over the place. They have no purpose. Their purpose is their lack of purpose.There are nine questions because cats, but these nine questions are subject to change without notice, so the questions one person answers may not be the questions answered by the next author.
Today we rub the lamp and summon a magical Kat Heckenbach. Do you think she will grant us three wishes? Or just answer nine random questions?
Kat Heckenbach spent her childhood with pencil and sketchbook in hand, knowing she wanted to be an artist when she grew up—so naturally she graduated from college with a degree in biology, went on to teach math, and now homeschools her two children while writing. Her fiction ranges from light-hearted fantasy to dark and disturbing, with multiple stories published online and in print. Her YA fantasy series Toch Island Chronicles is available in print and ebook. Enter her world at www.katheckenbach.com.
Congratulations! You are now president of this blog post. What's your first executive order?There shall henceforth be no more unnecessary remakes of hit movies—at least not until someone has the sense to finally remake Logan’s Run.
Describe your life as a film genre.
Well, judging by the number of wands and dragons in our house, I’d say fantasy. But if you go by the sonic screwdrivers and TARDISes lying around, then science fiction.
Can you simply walk into Mordor?
Of course not. Flying in with a magic carpet, though….
What is the best dream you ever had? Alternately, what is the worst nightmare you’ve ever experienced?
When I was a kid I dreamed there was magic chocolate that gave you the ability to fly, and I got to try it inside an incredible mansion! (That would be the best dream, btw.) As for the nightmare…I actually can’t even bring myself to type it. But I did have a freaky dream as a kid about discovering a cave with a bunch of bones that suddenly began to gather together into skeletons that came to life.
What’s the most important lesson you ever learned from a cartoon?
Taking over the world is something you have to try over and over every day, Pinky.
If you could live inside a theme park ride, which would it be?
Oh, this is the easiest question EVER. The Forbidden Journey inside Hogwarts at Universal Studios. Actually, I’ve spent many an hour devising how I could, for real, find a way to live there.
Write me some Vogon Poetry (for those not in the know, Vogon poetry is so awful you’ll want to rip your ears off and eat them. It’s considered a method of torture in many corners of the galaxy. So give us your worst).
Arthur was just a plain guy,
Whose planet was blown from the sky.
He followed a man
With two heads and three hands,
And a robot who wanted to die.
Their spaceship was one in a bill-i-on.
Their girlfriend was one in a Trill-i-an.
Ford was a Prefect
Zaphod, a defect.
And the Vogons were pretty lame…vill-i-ans?
(Um, yeah, sorry…you say “bad poetry” and my limerick gene kicks in….)
Are you the sort who sticks with the bird in hand? Or goes for what's behind door number two?
Depends—does the bird bite? Actually, it really does depend on the situation. I’m equally right-brained and left-brained. I am also an INTJ/INFJ. So, I’m equally logical and gut-instinct. Sometimes I’m all about keeping the bird and playing it safe. Other times, I set the bird free and go for the door.
If this question were any question in the world, what question would you want it to be and how would you answer it?
Question: “We would like to offer you a bazillion dollar publishing contract with Scholastic. Where shall we deposit the money?”
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