DISCLAIMER
The H. L. Burke Random Interview is not like other interviews. The questions are all over the place. They have no purpose. Their purpose is their lack of purpose.
There are nine questions because cats, but these nine questions are subject to change without notice, so the questions one person answers may not be the questions answered by the next author. We hear a jingle of many silver bells and a sleigh appears on the horizon, pulling our next author, Kristen Kooistra!
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| Kristen Kooistra |
Congratulations!
You are now president of this blog post. What's your first executive
order?
A: I’d like a
poofy pillow and some gooshy food delivered for my fluffy
counterpart, Kota. What’s that? Meooooooowwwww. Okay, she says she
also wants the little girl sneaking cookies in the corner to spend
the rest of the interview petting her. She also wants some of the
cookies.
Who is your
fictional best friend and what activities do you choose to do
together?
A: I have no
fictional best friend. I live a solitary fictional existence where
there’s nothing but me and the quiet emptiness. Kind of like being
in Narnia before Aslan’s song. It’s nice here . . . peaceful.
There’s a decided lack of children demanding attention and cats
insisting on pett—OW! I take it back. This place is horrible
without Kota.
Can you simply
walk into Mordor?
A: Definitely not.
Haven’t you heard? There’s not just orcs there. Some freaky eye
thing is watching everything and I’m pretty sure you’d need at
least 10,001 men to even attempt it. It’d be folly otherwise.
Describe your
life (or writing) as a film genre.
A: I’m calling
dibs on family comedy. Little kids give me the best stories to share.
And that’s not even taking into consideration my siblings or my
inlaws *looks around nervously* They’re not watching, right?
If you had a
store, what would you sell?
A: Sanity for
parents who have to deal with their kids, other people’s kids, and
other adults who are in need of the second item my store
sells—Manners.
If you had to
get stuck inside a television show, what would it be?
A: My Little
Pony(assuming I could take my oldest with me). She’d go crazy. We
could take some selfies with all of the ponies. Maybe she could even
get a ride if our animated selves were the right size. And nothing
would kill us. Living is a good thing.
Where’s my
supersuit!?!?!?!?
A: Frogsticks. I
knew I forgot something. *leaves for a minute* Kota clicks her claws
on the floor. *rushes back in with a big gaudy hot pink and lime
green wrapped box* Found it! The supersuit of your dreams, just as
you ordered. Customized special and everything.
During an alien
invasion, what would be your weapon of choice?
A: Is this a real
question? Because I’m sure lightsaber is the only valid answer any
SANE person would make.
If you could
combine any two animals to make a hybrid, what would they be?
A: A whale in a
unicorn! *Kota waves paw and gives a cryptic meow* Wait, what are
you-- *a giant plume of purple smoke flashes in the center of the
blog post* Holy fudge and pumpernickel! When did you learn magic?
*smoke fades and there in all of its glory is my dream creature*
YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! THAT’S
INSANE!!!
If this question
were any question in the world, what question would you want it to be
and how would you answer it?
A: If this question
were any question in the world, it would be, “What question would
you want it to be and how would you answer it?” BAM! Didn’t see
that coming, did you?
Social Media
This was a great interview! I'm laughing so hard, especially at the narwhal... XD
ReplyDeleteI've got the Narwhal song stuck in my head now, though.
DeleteAnd I'm just going "not a typo!" Lol, leave it to me to write in a whale instead of and a whale. *headdesk*
DeleteI just thought you meant like this https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRKmdDKbqEXxcnqqz1sRxNkeH0B1eANpxSiomB9V9inn03wOM8O0uCV9BY
DeleteThis was indeed more fun to read than typical author interviews.
ReplyDeleteGlad you enjoyed it! We have a new one posted every Saturday.
Delete