Random Interview Saturday! Janeen Ippolito

The H. L. Burke Random Interview is not like other interviews. The questions are all over the place. They have no purpose. Their purpose is their lack of purpose.
There are nine questions because cats, but these nine questions are subject to change without notice, so the questions one person answers may not be the questions answered by the next author.

It was a dark and stormy night. Lightning flashed and suddenly ... JANEEN IPPOLITO!

Janeen Ippolito

Author Bio: 

Janeen Ippolito is an idea-charged teacher, reader, writer, book reviewer, and the Fearless Leader (president) of Uncommon Universes Press. She writes quirky nonfiction writing help and speculative fiction laced with horror, humor, and cultural tension. Her co-written illustrated novella, Blood Mercy: Thicker Than Water, releases on October 29th. In her nonexistent spare time she reads, cooks, and sword-fights. Two of her dreams are to eat a fried tarantula and to travel to Antarctica. Go to janeenippolito.com for world-building resources and off-the-wall insights from this sleep-deprived author.

The Interview 

On a scale of 1 to 10, what do you think your chances are of surviving the zombie invasion?

Depends. Our current plan is to grab the car and use the last of our gas to get to my in-laws. Safety in numbers. Plus, my mother-in-law is great with gardening and plants, and my father-in-law is well-trained ex-military with a gun safe. 

Teleportation or telekinesis?

Teleportation. Definitely. I have so many people I want to visit and cool places to see!

Write me some Vogon Poetry (for those not in the know, Vogon poetry is so awful you’ll want to rip your ears off and eat them. It’s considered a method of torture in many corners of the galaxy. So give us your worst).

Sadly, I'm having to use my 'serious writer brain' a lot, so my 'bad poetry brain' is a little flabby. I'm calling in my husband to pinch-hit for this one.

The horse will gallop, my heart will beat

And Ralph lives on, and I have feet

We pine for being in a forest and sigh the deepest of sighs

And Ralph lives on

I slam the door and am as mad as the floor

And yet Ralph still lives on.
I am so hungry, I am singing
Open the cold freezing fridge, brrr

Hot water is really hot (but not THAT way)

Ralph is dead


Favorite flavor (of what? EVERYTHING!)?

Bacon. Strawberry. Chocolate. Ranch dressing. Steak. Whipped cream. Not all at the same time, unless I was being paid or very, very bored.

You can rescue a fictional character from certain death or resurrect them to live again. Who do you save? Alternately, is there a fictional character deserving of death who you would like to destroy?

I do have a long-standing grudge against D'Artagnan for being such an idiot. I never finished The Three Musketeers because of him. 

If you favorite historical era had an ice cream flavor made in its honor, what would it taste like?

I like all the historical eras, so I'm going with "everything ultimate triple-fudge chocolate sundae. With strawberries and whipped cream." Because chocolate.

During an alien invasion, what would be your weapon of choice?

Lightsaber scythe with a blaster fuction hidden in the handle.

Which natural element (earth, wind, fire, water) do you feel the greatest kinship with?

I like fire and phoenixes. So fire.

If this question were any question in the world, what question would you want it to be and how would you answer it?

What would you name a pet tortoise?

Answer: Groot

Social Media Links

Twitter: @TheQuietPen

Instagam: janeen_ippolito
Pinterest: Janeen Ippolito


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