Random Interview Saturday! Nerys Wheatley

The H. L. Burke Random Interview is not like other interviews. The questions are all over the place. They have no purpose. Their purpose is their lack of purpose.
There are nine questions because cats, but these nine questions are subject to change without notice, so the questions one person answers may not be the questions answered by the next author.

Someone bangs on the door. We open it. Nerys Wheatley rushes in, sword drawn, grabs us by the arms and shouts, "COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!" We better move, but as we move, let us ask her some questions...

Nerys Wheatley has an underabundance of excitement in her life and an overabundance of imagination which is constantly making up stuff in her head. She writes fast moving, action packed science fiction because she has to let the stories out somehow. She was born in the UK, which makes her spelling just that bit more thrilling. Her greatest wish is to wake up one day to find technology has advanced enough to enable the invention of the calorie-free cheesecake.

If you had to build a house without conventional materials, what unconventional materials would you use? (Gingerbread is inadvisable because it attracts snacking children)
Even if there were no children around, gingerbread wouldn’t survive me for long! I think I’d use duvets and pillows, just piles and piles of them on the floors, walls and ceilings, so everything would be soft. The whole house would be one big bed! And I’d also get a great workout every time I had to go from one room to another because it would be incredibly difficult to walk on!
If you had to write only in one crayon color for the rest of your life, what would you choose?
How did you know my writing utensil of preference is a crayon?! I’m going to go with green. My favourite colour is red, but writing in red would look like I was always angry. Blue is too standard. Green is soothing and the colour of nature (and Kermit), so green.

On a scale of 1 to 10, what do you think your chances are of surviving the zombie invasion?
I’d like to say 10. I’d like to be the tough heroine who can take on any and all danger and is a shining beacon of hope to those around her, ushering in a new age to rise, phoenix-like, from the blood-soaked ashes of the old world and build a brave new civilisation of love, kindness and respect.
But if I’m honest, it’d be 1. I’d be eaten on the first day.

If you had to get stuck inside a television show, what would it be?
If I was sensible I’d say something nice and happy like The Waltons or Modern Family, where everyone is mostly content and they all love each other, no matter what happens. But I’m going to say either Firefly or any of the Star Treks, because spaceships and adventure.

Pirates, Ninjas, or Vikings? Choose carefully.
That depends on what I need them for. For an invasion, it has to be Vikings because they have the pillaging down pat. If I need some swash buckled, give me a pirate any day. If I have some kind of stealth mission that needs to be accomplished, Ninjas are where it’s at. If we’re talking romantic heroes though... um... could we add cowboys to that list?

You find a talking animal. What sort of animal is it and what’s the first thing you do?
It’s a frog and the first thing I do is kiss it. I’m still waiting for my prince!

Tree House or Cave? And why?
This is tough. The obvious answer is Tree House because it’s light and airy and pretty and has the nice views, whereas caves are dark and damp and smell funny. But tree houses have one very significant drawback which is pretty much a deal-breaker for me – spiders. It would be overrun. So I’ll have to go with Cave. Can it be a cave with indoor plumbing and wifi?

What’s the most important lesson you ever learned from a cartoon?
Always turn left at Albuquerque.

If this question were any question in the world, what question would you want it to be and how would you answer it?
I have £5million I want you to have, would you like it? I think you know what my answer would be.

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  1. I love your random interviews, they are so much fun. (I'm afraid caves have spiders, too... and snakes... shudder, so I'd go with tree house).

    Also, no pressure to actually do it, but I tagged you to share some snippets of your writing if you'd like to! http://jenelleschmidt.com/snippet-tag/


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