Random Interview Saturday! Dakota Caldwell

The H. L. Burke Random Interview is not like other interviews. The questions are all over the place. They have no purpose. Their purpose is their lack of purpose.
There are nine questions because cats, but these nine questions are subject to change without notice, so the questions one person answers may not be the questions answered by the next author.
A coach and four rumbles up to the door. Who rings the bell? Dakota Caldwell! ... that was bad ... here, have an interview.

Dakota Caldwell


Born and raised on a Kansas farm, Dakota has long had a passion for writing. He is currently a college student pursuing a mechanical engineering degree, writing in between homework assignments (and sometimes in class when it gets boring).

The Interview

You receive a contract that allows you to have any pet you want (mythical or real) but in return you have to spend a week AS a pet to a mythical creature of your choice (dragon, giant, sphinx?). Do you take it or do you decline?
Oh, heck yes! I totally want a Camazotz, and who wouldn't want to be the pet of a giant fire-bat? I mean, I would have to make sure that I kept a good amount of repellent around (they tend to eat humans), but the reward would totally be worth it. I could live alone, and none of those pesky salesmen would be able to come near my door.

Congratulations! You are now president of this blog post. What's your first executive order?
 OOH!!! I get to be president? Well, my first order of business is to make this blog great again. Not that it's bad in any way, it's a great site! We just need to make sure a firewall gets built between here and SpecFaith. It wouldn't do for these views to go to another blog as well, and we HAVE to ensure the safety of all these words. I mean, I COULD just delete all the comments...

If you could live inside a theme park ride, which would it be?
 Can I have a specific ride in a specific park? I totally want to live in the swinging boat in Pacific Playland. I mean, the zombies would get annoying after awhile, but... Zombies.

If you had to write only in one crayon color for the rest of your life, what would you choose?
Purple! Because then all my writing will be in the color of royalty, and everyone will be decreed to read it.

What mythical creature do you most wish to be real?
Oh, man. The mythical publishing agency that accepts all my books, only edits what I want edited to make it better, and promotes it to my millions of adoring fans. That's a creature, right? I mean, it sure feels like my manuscript gets ripped apart by wild beasts, so it has to be...

If you had to get stuck inside a television show, what would it be?
The Walking Dead!!!! Like, not with Rick's group. They just seem to attract trouble, and I rather prefer living. I would be off on my own, coming up with some sort of uniquely kick-butt way of surviving!!! I would have to run into Rick's group at some point so that everyone back at home would be able to see how awesome my methods are... But just a quick visit, then I leave again.

Which of the following potions would you like to possess: a Love Potion, a Sleeping Potion, an Invisibility Potion, or Coffee?
Love potion! I mean, I'm engaged, so it's not to attract new females... I could just REALLY use the extra help to get me out of trouble on occasion...

Can you simply walk into Mordor?
I was trying to come up with some sort of complicated answer, but I'm just going to say nope! Not without a ton of extra weaponry, explosives, an army, a nuke... And by that point it isn't simple. It's tearing down the walls and marching in to a brilliant fanfare.

If this question were any question in the world, what question would you want it to be and how would you answer it?
This one is easy! I want to be asked if I take my fiance to be my wife, at which point I want to answer yes!