The H. L. Burke Random Interview is not like other interviews. The questions are all over the place. They have no purpose. Their purpose is their lack of purpose.
There are nine questions because cats, but these nine questions are subject to change without notice, so the questions one person answers may not be the questions answered by the next author.
The sky shimmers. The clouds part, revealing a strange portal through another realm. Through this mystical doorway emerges our next author: Julie C. Gilbert!
Julie C. Gilbert writes, teaches chemistry, listens to audiobooks, plays with Legos (for business purposes, mostly), and single-handedly keeps her dentist in business.
Which of the following potions would you like to possess: a Love Potion, a Sleeping Potion, an Invisibility Potion, or Coffee?
Definitely coffee. Decaf, of course. Fully caffeinated coffee gives me a headache. I don’t have trouble sleeping and the other two seem like they’d be apt to bring about bothersome nuisances of one sort or another.
If you had to communicate with an alien presence in a non-traditional way (like, for instance, interpretive dance) what would be your method of choice?
Those cute little flag signals that are used to communicate ship to ship.
Can you simply walk into Mordor?
Only once. Dragon cabbie is recommended.
If you had to board yourself up in a store to wait out the apocalypse, what store would you choose?
A Southern Walmart. They’d have everything you need to survive: food, cheap clothes, large cooking pots, lighters, and guns. Northern Walmarts would probably have most of that, sans guns. I’m guessing the apocalypse will have zombies, so guns and other weaponry would be handy to keeping one’s brains intact. If it’s a zombieless apocalypse, then there are probably still people to fend off.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Depends on how good of a woodchucker this woodchuck is … my guess, enough as it takes to knock out the silly person asking him about how much wood he intends to chuck.
If you favorite historical era had an ice cream flavor made in its honor, what would it taste like?
Mint Chocolate Renaissance.
The Flying Dutchman is offering you three wishes. How do you maximize your wish potential?
Well, you could wish for every third wish to grant three more wishes, then you get two freebies and a repeat.
In your opinion, which is the best space ship?
If this question were any question in the world, what question would you want it to be and how would you answer it?
Which author would you most fear to be a character for?
Any. Authors are a scary lot when it comes to characters. Brandon Sanderson, probably. I mean, you’d have a lovely, well-developed world to hang out in, but there’d probably be an epic war going on and people trying to kill you.
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